Well-Versed

Try as one might, it is hard to picture Newark’s Mayor Jeff Hall turning cart wheels, pom-poms in hand, yelling “Pass the tax!” Yet that’s exactly what Analysis concludes needs to happen given the recent efforts on the part of the administration and council to come up with a solution to the chronically deteriorating streets of Newark. “Hall said he plans to meet with residents to answer their questions before they vote on the tax hike. “It’s our job to get out to explain it to the public so they’re well-versed about what they’re doing when they go to the polls in November,” he said.” (“Income tax hike on to ballot” Newark Advocate Joe Williams 6-16-14). If the Hall administration will not don cheerleading outfits and rally for the tax then what other possibilities are available? A Pavetonia bike ride staged in downtown Granville since the roads of Newark would make for an uncomfortably bumpy event? Maybe a Race For The Repair half marathon, again, some community like Heath or Granville where the runners wouldn’t dread literally hitting the pavement. A 5K Walk For Roads To Ride On would be alright in Newark provided entrants wear durable hiking shoes (rather than walkers) given the hit/miss nature of sidewalks in the city. A Hot Asphalt community spaghetti dinner, or fish fry if you’d prefer (perfect for a really hot summer’s day when you could demonstrate to the kiddies how an egg could be cooked if there was a decent asphalt road). Let’s Do It In The Road fashion show and tea might bring them out. Repave To Boot would require the Hall administration hold up wingtips while gathering donations at the intersection of 4th and Main (OK so they are shoes, not boots but Soles For Repaving might offend some of the brethren). Or how about a city wide Smooth Cruising-Newark Dreaming raffle with the winner taking home a new set of tires, wheels and alignment? A Get Out Of Dodge (while roadwork is contemplated) vacation package auction might require soliciting some deep pocket sponsors, but is more than well worth the effort. Given the plethora of options available, Analysis can understand the mayor’s eschewing pom-poms and cheering for reasoned explaining.

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